1001 Pennies in a Mason Jar

The 1001 pennies represent the various personalities the narcissist hides behind as well as all the lies they juggle at one time.

Smear my name, smear my face it was never your place to erase or replace me. Your lies and distortions reported by you and blown way out of proportion

I know who you are, 1001 pennies in a Mason jar. And we were to guess how many inside while you ran for cover and Found a place to hide from what you’ve done and what you never did so now I’m forced To open the lid…
Of your mason jar.

The pain inside will never hide the soul of who I am yet behind your lies and confusion I’m not alive. I’m just an infusion. I was here but you took my place and my face you wished to erase. But I’m not going down not today not tomorrow not ever again you forced my hand and now you think you might win. I’m not like you thank god I’ll never understand who you are because you hide like 1001 pennies in that mason jar.

I cannot breathe I cannot see a way out because my voice is a whisper and yours always a shout. Words I put down like the act of a clown, you can see, I will never be…like you.

I wrote this poem exactly one year ago regarding my mother, after she coached the entire family to blacklist me. Their decision pushed me gravely close to committing suicide. I was harshly admonished by a family member, so I went silent. But 1 year later, I am fighting back.

You are the maypole someone I will never become.
You’ve worked years to create something that I will never be.

Why can’t you see?

This is my fault and I’m to blame- I am to bow down and own every ounce of your shame, but I will never stoop so low to play your game.

So instead I say a lonely Goodbye.

Because It was only my truth,

But always your lie.

Kacie Brockman


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